Media & Design

Evangeline Lilly: From LiveLinks to Lost

It's pretty funny when someone gets famous and media addicts manage to dig up embarassing (but harmless) nuggets from their past. For instance, if you can get your hands on it, you ought to find a copy of the original version of Nine Inch Nails' "Pretty Hate Machine" (a bootleg often labelled "Purest Feeling") in which Trent Reznor comes across closer to a wussy-Depeche-Mode-wannabe than the angsty-goth-industrial-god that he eventually became.

On a slightly less drastic, but equally entertaining level, Lost star Evangeline Lilly (who plays Kate Austen on the runaway hit for ABC) also has a funny little then-and-now item that surfaced on the 'net in the last couple of months. Apparently, before Evangeline Lilly was stranded on a deserted island with an unlimited supply of revealing tank tops and cute little low rise pants that make her ass look absolutely fantastic, she did some commercials to help pay her way through college. What were these television ads for? "The best place to meet local singles."

Yep, that's right, she did a TV ad for a phone-based dating service that's probably one step above late-night 900-number "telephone entertainment" (read: phone sex) and potentially one step down from the uber-successful Match.com. Evangeline Lilly's past, at least based on this, is not very sordid or controversial... just entertaining (and even admirable, if you think about paying your own way through college).

It's amazing how quickly and efficiently Lost-fandom was able to unearth and distribute a relatively obscure tidbit like the LiveLinks commercial (though an interview with David Letterman probably helped things along). Between fansites, blogs, and YouTube, Evangeline Lilly didn't have a shot of keeping the 30 second television spot under wraps. So, you just think about that before you sign a contract for a hit TV show.

Topics: Evangeline Lilly, Lost, LiveLinks, phone sex, commercial, ad, advertisement, TV, television, date video, Kate Austen, Nine Inch Nails, Trent Reznor, bootleg, and Purest Feeling.

Boston Celtics have... cheerleaders?

Strictly speaking, the Boston Celtics WILL have a DANCE TEAM (see Boston Herald and CNN), not cheerleaders. But for all intents and purposes, that the storied NBA franchise with more championships than any other professional basketball team will be adopting some cheerleader-type T&A intermission entertainment is as much a sign of the times as anything. Or is it?

The Dallas Cowboy and the (EWW!) Los Angeles Lakers practically had two separate forms of entertainment at all their games with the Cowgirls and Laker Girls respectively. And they've been riding that cheap-thrills-for-drunk-men-at-a-sporting-event train for decades. The other 29 teams in the NBA have followed suit and the legendary Boston Celtics were the last to give in. Or were they?

The Celtics (under the painfulpainfulPAINFUL guidance of Rick Pitino) began showcasing some sort of asinine make-noise-for-a-t-shirt "Spirit Squad" years ago. I'd be overwhelmingly glad to trade in what we currently have in exchange for cheerleaders or dancers or even belly dancers or pole dancers. Boston gave in ages ago but still somehow managed to maintain an air of too-good-for-that since we didn't go the Full Monty with a "dance team." Until now.

So, what we established is that we really sold out years ago and that selling out in the current sense really isn't THAT big a deal because we effectively sold out years ago, BUT if we really had stood our ground and hadn't hired that crapface (thanks StrongBad) Pitino back in 1996 or whatever it was, we could've actually claimed the horror of the über classy Boston Celtics creating a dance squad. Whew!

If all the other kids jumped off a building or ran into a brick wall, would you? In this case, yes I would. Why?

• Well, all the other kids really are doing it and it's not like the other kids are snorting hand-fulls of cocaine. This really is harmless.
• It makes some sense from a business standpoint (though I'm still trying to figure out what, but I'm sure it's there somewhere).
• It will be entertaining either because it's entertaining or because it'll be fun to heckle or because nearly all drunk men love boobies.
• The dancers will surely be more attractive than the men wielding the t-shirt bazookas and slingshots.
• As much as Bostonians will deny that they like it, they do. Or rather, they will. It is a sign of the times and if we don't love it, our kids will or their kids will. Or they'll like whatever the other 29 teams evolve their dance teams into.

I suspect the Celtics dance team will never fill the seats of the Garden, err... Fleet Center... oh wait, Garden by themselves. It still comes down to the Celtics winning basketball games. But, it will bring us into line with what people expect. I love tradition and I love the Celtics. But to be honest, I'm more horrified that Ainge let the team wear white shoes (instead of black) than I am at having cheerleaders.

Topics: Boston, Boston Celtics, cheerleaders, dance team, auditions, tradition, NBA, and boobies.

Dell XPS M2010: 18 lbs laptop or 80 lbs gorilla?

Holy freaking smokes... Dell's XPS M2010 is a laptop with a 20.1" screen, 8 built-in speakers, a subwoofer, a dockable keyboard, a remote control, and up to 4GB of RAM. Oddly enough, the weight of the machine was NOT in the list of cool features. After some searching, it was determined that the "preliminary weight" would be "approximately 18.3 lbs depending upon configuration".

I mean COME ON! That's like going to Match.com, finding a hot babe who loves Star Wars and [insert your favorite sport here], only to discover in the fine print that they've got every STD in the world. Okay, maybe it's not that severe, but it is kind of funny to think that Dell would develop the ultimate laptop for any 90-lbs-weakling-media-whore, but make it so heavy that only overly-steroided-no-neck-bodybuilders would be able to lug them anywhere.

What's 18 lbs, you ask? Two gallons of water comes in at about 16.66 lbs or 1.64 lbs LESS than the M2010. Somewhat less useful but potentially more interesting is that 293 average slices of raw bacon come in around 18.3 lbs as do approximately 225 rubber ducks. Are we getting the inconvenience factor yet? Oh, and keep in mind that the weight is dependant on configuration, so you may end up with something even heavier.

In any event, I think the most interesting thing about this is that we live in a culture where something as marginally impractical as this laptop is somehow incredibly desireable. For more info: visit Dell.com.

Topics: Dell, laptop, XPS M2010, RAM, computer, and bacon.

Lesbian Batwoman: Deal or no deal

DC Comics is attempting to diversify its superhero roster by reintroducing Batwoman as five-feet-ten-inches of hot lesbian vigilante packed into a skin-tight black leather suit. Complete with cape, of course. Inevitably, there's a huge amount of mixed reaction to anything gay that might reach the impressionable minds of our youth.

In addition to being a point of controversy, it's also the sort of thing the media pounces on because of all the opportunities for clever headlines like "Batwoman's other secret identity turns heads" (CNN), "Batwoman is back and she's gayer than Robin" (The Celebrity Cafe), "Batwoman comes out of the cave" (ABC), "Batwoman says no to men" (Cinema Blend), "Holy Rosie O'Donnell Batman, Batwoman is a lesbian" (American Chronicle)and the ever straight forward "Batwoman returns as lipstick lesbian" (Daily Telegraph). Cheekiness aside, what's all the hub bub, bub?

Let's examine what's already happened out there along these lines. DC Comics has touched upon "the whole gay thing" when writer Judd Winick (former MTV Real Worlder) crafted a serious tale in which one of Green Lantern's friends is severely beaten because he's a homosexual. Granted, the victim wasn't a superhero, but it potentially made many people more aware of the terrible nature of hate crimes. On the flip side, in a much less serious manner (and with much comedic success), Marvel Comics reintroduced hero Rawhide Kid as a gay cowboy. Without any background research, I'm curious if Annie Proulx's "Close Range: Wyoming Stories" (which contains the story of "Brokeback Mountain") had any influence on Marvel's gay cowboy concept which was also published in 2000.

So gay characters, even gay superheroes, aren't unheard of in comic books. So let's set that aside for a moment and think about the diversification side of things. DC Comics has also been a big proponent of this. Let's look at the recently reinvented Blue Beetle (now Hispanic), Firestorm (now African-American), Atom (now Asian), and Speedy (now HIV positive). If you go back a few years, you'll see that they attempted to elevate Latino heroes with characters like El Diablo and Vibe. If you go back even further to the 1970s, DC Comics was already driving the cultural diversity bandwagon with their Superfriends cartoon showcasing characters like Black Vulcan, Samurai, Apache Chief, and El Dorado. (However, it should be noted that while trying to display their racial acceptance, they did manage to promote and accentuate cultural stereotypes in many instances.)

So, where was I and what was my point? Well, perhaps I shouldn't be all over the media for jumping on this as it was DC Comics who actually announced the reintroduction of Batwoman in attemnpt to generate hype. Which, of course, is fine too... it's a business, right? Perhaps, my point is that it's really not a big deal (particularly considering that the largest comic book reading demographic probably consists of 25-30 year olds and not children of homophobic parents). If the media really wants to hype comic books that handle "alternative lifestyles" realistically, tastefully, and in an UNDERSTATED way, they might consider reporting on Marvel's Runaways and Young Avengers titles.

To circle back around... yippee, they brought back Batwoman. Whether this is a good thing or not depends entirely on the writing and not on the character's sexual orientation. (Insert lame joke about fanboys drooling over hot bat-on-bat action here.)

Topics: Batwoman, lesbian, gay, DC comics, hype, comic books, controversy, and media.