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Media & Design

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Boston Celtics have... cheerleaders?

Boston Celtics dance team auditions

Strictly speaking, the Boston Celtics WILL have a DANCE TEAM (see Boston Herald and CNN), not cheerleaders. But for all intents and purposes, that the storied NBA franchise with more championships than any other professional basketball team will be adopting some cheerleader-type T&A intermission entertainment is as much a sign of the times as anything. Or is it?

The Dallas Cowboy and the (EWW!) Los Angeles Lakers practically had two separate forms of entertainment at all their games with the Cowgirls and Laker Girls respectively. And they've been riding that cheap-thrills-for-drunk-men-at-a-sporting-event train for decades. The other 29 teams in the NBA have followed suit and the legendary Boston Celtics were the last to give in. Or were they?

The Celtics (under the painfulpainfulPAINFUL guidance of Rick Pitino) began showcasing some sort of asinine make-noise-for-a-t-shirt "Spirit Squad" years ago. I'd be overwhelmingly glad to trade in what we currently have in exchange for cheerleaders or dancers or even belly dancers or pole dancers. Boston gave in ages ago but still somehow managed to maintain an air of too-good-for-that since we didn't go the Full Monty with a "dance team." Until now.

So, what we established is that we really sold out years ago and that selling out in the current sense really isn't THAT big a deal because we effectively sold out years ago, BUT if we really had stood our ground and hadn't hired that crapface (thanks StrongBad) Pitino back in 1996 or whatever it was, we could've actually claimed the horror of the über classy Boston Celtics creating a dance squad. Whew!

If all the other kids jumped off a building or ran into a brick wall, would you? In this case, yes I would. Why?

  • Well, all the other kids really are doing it and it's not like the other kids are snorting hand-fulls of cocaine. This really is harmless.
  • It makes some sense from a business standpoint (though I'm still trying to figure out what, but I'm sure it's there somewhere).
  • It will be entertaining either because it's entertaining or because it'll be fun to heckle or because nearly all drunk men love boobies.
  • The dancers will surely be more attractive than the men wielding the t-shirt bazookas and slingshots.
  • As much as Bostonians will deny that they like it, they do. Or rather, they will. It is a sign of the times and if we don't love it, our kids will or their kids will. Or they'll like whatever the other 29 teams evolve their dance teams into.

I suspect the Celtics dance team will never fill the seats of the Garden, err... Fleet Center... oh wait, Garden by themselves. It still comes down to the Celtics winning basketball games. But, it will bring us into line with what people expect. I love tradition and I love the Celtics. But to be honest, I'm more horrified that Ainge let the team wear white shoes (instead of black) than I am at having cheerleaders.

Alison Preston and others audition for the Boston Celtics dance team

Topics: Boston, Boston Celtics, cheerleaders, dance team, auditions, tradition, NBA, and boobies.

posted by silinx | 8:04:00 PM


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not surprisingly for a Bostonian, their legs are always spread.

June 15, 2006 9:16 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You write this as if it's a bad thing. Puritan.

June 15, 2006 9:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well....the fans need something entertaining to watch. It sure isn't going to come from the actual Celtics on the basketball court. Maybe if they actually got with the times they wouldn't have sucked for so long as opposed to all those other teams like hmmmm.....the Lakers, who people can remember when they last won a championship!

June 15, 2006 10:02 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

anyone notice that fat girl in the first pic? no to nice on the eyes.

June 15, 2006 10:10 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


June 15, 2006 10:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

95 is definitely chunky, but 254 is a goddess...an absolute goddess.

June 15, 2006 10:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

95 is your typical Bostonian broad, what with Dunkin Donuts on every corner.

Is it any coincidence they gave her the same number as the highway that runs through town? Perhaps they both share the same width.

254 was imported from another state for sure.

June 15, 2006 11:13 AM  
Anonymous James Lewis III said...

The Femine Genius, proteced for awhile by the Celtics, is now further degraded. Sad.

June 15, 2006 11:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Femine Genius, proteced for awhile by the Celtics, is now further degraded. Sad.

June 15, 2006 11:14 AM  
Blogger Johnson said...

WTF is "Femine Genius?"

June 15, 2006 11:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

#95 must have wandered away from the herd in the Lane Bryant catalog

June 15, 2006 11:22 AM  
Blogger TotalChaos said...

95 is Just allright!!! with me, for get those thin ones, give me some meat on them bones.

June 15, 2006 11:31 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i agree with DaddyJarBucks. her stomach is flat,hot in my book. she is what a real woman is supossed to look like.

June 15, 2006 11:40 AM  
Anonymous JBG said...

i agree with DaddyJarBucks. her stomach is flat,hot in my book. she is what a real woman is supossed to look like.

June 15, 2006 11:40 AM  
Anonymous Aj Moreau said...

Ok so we have established that 95 is a chunky. 254 is just drop dead sexy.

47 looks anorexic to me... and 55 or 56, whatever number it is she's pretty and kind of average.

June 15, 2006 11:41 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Basketball is teh suck

June 15, 2006 11:46 AM  
Anonymous jbl said...

95 is for the winter months

June 15, 2006 12:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lol meat on her bones is good but steaks hanging from her arms, cottage cheese from them thighs and man handles......teh yuck. Calista flockheart yuck, Kate Beckinsale yum. Rosey O' Donnell yuck, Jessica Biel yum...not boney not beefy. Just right.

June 15, 2006 12:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

95 has a little junk in the trunk, but that's how I like it. I'll take her while you guys fight over the toothpicks.

June 15, 2006 12:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

95 has a little junk in the trunk, but that's how I like it. I'll take her while you guys fight over the toothpicks.

June 15, 2006 12:38 PM  
Anonymous C3 said...

So basically what I got out of most of this article is that Bostonians are going to complain when hotties jump around in skimpy outfits. Note to self, never go to Boston.

Don't diss the Lakers.

And pronounce Coffee right god damnit.

June 15, 2006 12:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

254 is HOT... and flexible.. just look at that mid air split...

and the author couldn't figure out why this would be good for business... think of the calendar sales, increase in ticket sales for the guys that will never get to, but imagine about being with the girls (if the right ones are chosen)

June 15, 2006 12:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Drunk men's need to see boobies is why the world is the way it is-messed up. No harm in it? How about to women who just want to watch the game or to the girls who then become anorexic? Let them do something different, we already have enough slutty teams

June 15, 2006 1:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wanna bang 95 till I burn my penis off.

June 15, 2006 1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

254 is a camera whore...and a whore to boot.
And oh yes. Gimme 95 over 254 anyday. Look like 95 has more on top too!!

June 15, 2006 1:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

who told 95 she is hot enough to be a cheerleader? I bet she could easily land a modeling gig with Kal Kan

June 15, 2006 1:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

254 is hot if you like an anorexic chick who you will break in bed - 95 is normal, not fat, if you think she is, you really do not know what fat is. Give me thick anyday, I'll leave the white anorexic crap for the white boys who have no stamina anyhow. . .

June 15, 2006 3:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's all this talk of boobies? These girls are as flat as......well... as flat as Boston chicks.

June 15, 2006 3:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I find this kinda strange, 254 just happens to be the 1st three numbers you dial to call someone in my town...Yes, Town...

June 15, 2006 4:09 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

All of you say you want 254, but none of you are enough man to even get 95!

Dream on guys - Buying a ticket to see 254 is about as close as any of you are going to get!

June 15, 2006 4:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who remembers Red Auerbach saying the Celtics would never have cheerleaders as long as he was around?

June 15, 2006 6:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

95 is kinda on the high side, but not super fat. 254 is a bit too skinny, how bout in between? 254 DOES do that split in the air, look how far her legs go up! Amazing! Ill break her n half tonight then hit 95 tomorrow....

June 15, 2006 6:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


June 15, 2006 7:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

u just can't have chunky as a cheerleader or dance team member. if i was interviewing i'd tell her to lose at least 20 lbs and come back. shes not bad looking. 254 is a goddess.

June 15, 2006 7:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How is it that some of you are still living in the 80's view of beauty. Give me a natural girl with some cushion anytime of the week! You rock #95!

June 15, 2006 7:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

mmmm 95 baby...just check out those luscious, kissable abdominals! gotta go crank one out on paltalk now. bye

June 15, 2006 8:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you people are so sad.

June 15, 2006 8:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'd like to know what some of these guys look like who are making comments...

They probably couldn't get 95 or 254.

..and you wonder where eating disorders come from? You guys make me sick...

June 15, 2006 10:25 PM  
Blogger money said...

I think the best loking one is on the very far right her last 2 numbers appear to be 02.

June 15, 2006 10:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anybody calling 254 a toothpick or anorexic had better put down the doughnut and reframe their obese-American body image.

June 15, 2006 11:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just cause a girl has a little extra meat on her bones doesn't mean you have to diss her. Besides different people like different things...each to their own you pervs. They are just a dance team....seriously

June 15, 2006 11:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

95....oh yes, 95....oh yeah, 95..........ninety-fivvvveeee....

June 16, 2006 12:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The Celtics don't need a dance team because there are plenty of hot chicks in the stands and the children in the crowd don't need to see a T&A show on the court. Red was right and the white sneakers are a disgrace too. The Celtics are a young up and coming team. Can't it just be about the basketball? Having said all that, 254 is one tasty girl!!!!

June 16, 2006 1:44 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just to letch for a minute, girl 95 certainly is the prettiest in my book... always liked my women with curves.

June 16, 2006 5:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh come on guys. 95 is okay. check out 47 she is the finest one in the picture.

October 30, 2006 11:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

so now everyone has to be skinny as hell, till you can see their bones, to be sexy? HELLOOOOO?!?!?!?! I'm a girl who likes girls and guys and i dont wanna hug a guy when all i feel is their ribs, i want them to have the ablility to torcher me and protect me (im weird like that, but i rather be weird then normal) and i want a girl who i can hold onto their curves and feel their "womanly" body not just their nonexistant boobs and ass.

common now, be an real man (not an inconciderate and ungrateful perve) and appriciate a real woman and you will be appriciated back!

November 14, 2008 4:46 PM  

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